Not everyone wants to see a movie that requires you to think, but nobody wants to see a movie that requires that you don’t think -- at all!

The Recruit stars fast-rising, never-shaven hunk, Colin Farrell, as James Clayton. Clayton’s supposed to be a hotshot computer whiz who has invented a computer program that can seemingly take over any other computer in its vicinity. Far-fetched? You betcha, and it only gets worse. A Dell representative sees Clayton’s invention and never for a moment wonders just how it can possibly work, but immediately wants to slap Dell’s logo on it. (Question: Who at Dell thought it would be a good idea to be portrayed like this, let alone pay for it?) If Clayton followed up with Dell he’d now be a wealthy man and the film would be over in five minutes, but the real story starts and Clayton is recruited by Walter Burke (Al Pacino), one of those only-in-the-movies guys who knows more about everyone than they know about themselves. Putting everything he worked for in computer school aside, along with the cash that Dell will pay him, Clayton gets whisked away to a place called "The Farm" to undergo intense training to become a CIA spy. Since when did computer nerds make good spies? Most likely since the time that large computer companies started paying for product-placement shots in cheesy Hollywood films like this one.

I could go on about stupid plot points like a computer virus than can infect a wall socket in your home and bring the whole world back to the Stone Age. (Imagine how angry any would-be terrorists with this virus would be if they tried to infect the world and the power accidentally went out that day.) Suffice it to say that The Recruit is not just meaningless, it’s ridiculous. But what’s more amazing is the star power they’ve lured into this mess. Director Roger Donaldson has made credible films like No Way Out and Thirteen Days. (Then again, he also made Species and Cocktail.) Colin Farrell is an up-and-comer most recently seen in Minority Report. Then there’s Al Pacino. At least he has movies like The Godfather, Serpico, Dog Day Afternoon, and The Insider to look back on with pride. He’s only rarely good these days. When he turns on that embarrassing, over-the-top acting style that’s become increasingly annoying with each subsequent film, he morphes himself into a live-action cartoon with seemingly little self-respect. It makes me wish the theater would give you a remote control to simply turn him off.

On the same weekend that I saw the much-ballyhooed The Recruit, I also saw a little-known, gritty crime thriller call Narc. In every way possible Narc is a superior film, yet I suspect few will see it, or even know about it. Narc, unfortunately, is not the kind of movie that Hollywood can easily sell anymore -- or won’t try too anyway. Instead they’ll continue to give us trash like The Recruit, substituting a big-budget marketing campaign for skill in storytelling. My only advice to you is to skip it. 

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