Wahlberg plays Leo Davidson, a pilot who through a string of circumstances gets stranded on a planet where apes rule over humans. This won’t surprise anyone because this remake is fairly close to the same plot as the 1968 classic. The big difference here is a quantum leap in special effects and makeup. So Burton has been wisely promoting this as a "reimaging" instead of a "remaking." In other words, a new way to look at an old thing. Regardless of the marketing spin, there’s no denying that the great advancements in special effects have made a film that’s seriously fun to watch, despite the fact that this superior-looking version manages to fall a fair bit short of the original. Burton’s vision of the apes and their lifestyle is easily the best part of this film, and the filmmakers obviously went to great efforts to make the creatures as real and memorable as possible. It extends past the way they look down to the way they move, run, and interact. That much can’t be said about the humans in the film, mind you.

Unfortunately, Wahlberg doesn’t shine here like he has in other roles. For that matter, none of the actors playing humans do either. In the first Planet of the Apes, except for Heston, the humans didn’t speak. They do speak here, but it’s of little consequence since they mostly languish around like automatons anyway. And when they’re not doing that, they’re just standing around looking dumb. Take the pretty Canadian Estella Warren playing Daena. She has little to do except put on her best pouting face and give Davidson meaningful glances from time to time (which he never quite catches). It’s a pathetic, even depressing attempt at a love story.

Instead, the best performances are best left to those in the ape suits. Despite the mounds of makeup, latex, hair, and what have you, some truly outstanding performances surface. Tim Roth, Michael Clarke Duncan, and Helena Bonham Carter are completely unrecognizable in their costumes, and they manage to build a complete character out of their respective chimps. In fact, Carter’s Ari is the sexiest ape you’re likely to see in your movie-going life, which adds a new wrinkle to movie love stories and has the audience begging the question: Is Davidson going to score with Daena or with Ari? (Warren should have known she had a pathetic role when, clad in just a few strips of clothing, she is still no match for a full suit of ape hair.) As to whether there’s a bumpin’ and grindin’ between the species, I’ll let you go to the film to find that out.