| Editorial September 2007
You Might Be a Home-Theater Redneck If . . .
with apologies to Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a home-theater redneck if . . .
1) You complain about how bad standard-definition (SD)
programming looks on your new high-definition TV. Come on! You blow up a lo-rez SD
image four times or more, add a gazillion pixels of resolution, then view satellite or
cable SD programming that has so much MPEG compression there’s a haze of block
artifacts in and around everything -- well, your HDTV isn’t going to fix that.
In fact, the bigger and better your HDTV is, the worse SD programming will look. Expect no
more than that and you won’t be disappointed. If you want SD cable or satellite
programming to look good, put an SD video display somewhere else in your home (in the
garage, on the porch …), or move your chair 15-20 feet back from your HDTV so you
can’t see all the problems.
2) You bought a 1080p hi-def video display and you sit too
far away from the set to see all the detail you’ve just paid big bucks for. In the
following list, the diagonal screen size (in inches) is followed by THX’s
recommendation for the best viewing distance (in feet) to see all the detail, followed by
the farthest recommended distance (though some detail will be lost): 32" (3.6’,
5’); 40" (4.5’, 6.3’); 52" (5.8’, 8.2’); 60"
(6.4’, 9.6’); 70" (7.8’, 11’); 80" (8.9’, 12.6’);
90" (10.1’, 14.2’); 100" (11.2’, 15.7’). Many audio systems
sound their best when you sit 8-10’ from the speakers. That means you need a
70-90" video display to see all the details in HD images while having the video
display and front speakers at the same distance from you, as you should. And you thought
your 60" display was big! Start preparing Elly May for an even bigger TV, cuz
it’s gonna take some time for that to sink in.
3) You believe a certain provider of satellite TV (not
Dish) when they claim to have a "capacity" of 150 hi-def channels, even though
they won’t offer you anything close to 150 HD channels for the foreseeable
future. I can almost forgive you for getting fooled by this advertising scam, but not
quite.
4) You think SD DVDs should look perfect on your HDTV.
Screw SD DVD! Except for a few titles, they look so lame on a good 1080p display that
there’s no point to them any more. SD DVD is the new VHS.
5) You think the format war between HD DVD and Blu-ray
is so terrible that you refuse to buy a player for either format. Ten years ago, DVD
players cost $500, and they were lame compared to the hi-def players or game
consoles you can get today for $500 or less. If you’re concerned about spending money
on HD discs before the format war is decided, rent them by mail from Netflix or
Blockbuster.
6) You haven’t noticed the ridiculous amount of
compression in so-called "HDTV" programming. All broadcast networks, local
channels, satellite providers, and cable providers are providing "HDTV"
that’s so far from being true high definition that it’s a scandal. They
shouldn’t be allowed to call what they’re delivering "HDTV." All the
more reason to embrace Blu-ray and HD DVD.
7) You believe stores charge fair prices for HDMI cables.
There’s no reason for HDMI cables to start at $40 and go up from there. See www.monoprice.com for HDMI cables in
lengths short, long, and everything in between. Their basic HDMI cable starts at under $5;
the deluxe model is closer to $16. (Longer cables cost more, of course.) I’ve bought
two deluxe cables and two inexpensive ones from MonoPrice and have had problems with none
of them. The shipping charges are reasonable.
8) You bought a nice HDTV but have no HD sources. Look --
your HDTV was made to display hi-def programming. What are you waiting for? Do you like
soft, blurry images with loads of compression artifacts? You need hi-def sources.
As Foxworthy’s counterpart, Larry the Cable Guy, would say, Git r done!
...Doug Blackburn
db@hometheatersound.com |
