| Editorial July 2005
Home Theater Fashion Statement
Should there be fashion police for
home theater? How about a reality-based home-theater style show on HGTV? It might
be coming to a cable channel near you. Mark Burnett is reportedly in negotiation to
produce an hour-long show based on style-conscious home-theater aficionados. A group
comprising an HT installer, an ex-reviewer, a fashion model (mandatory for the ratings),
and a home-décor expert will travel to the homes of home-theater enthusiasts to give
thumbs up or down to the owners’ systems. Sound and picture quality don’t count
for much, but color schemes do. Home Theater & Sound has obtained an exclusive
excerpt from the pilot episode:
Home-décor expert: Welcome to the home of Mr. and
Mrs. Ted Spanarkle. We’re here today to assess the recent addition to the
Spanarkles’ home: a brand-spankin’-new home theater.
Fashion model: Where’s the snacks?
Ex-reviewer: I have some demo DVDs, and my sound
meter when you guys…
Home-décor expert: OK, enough of that. Let’s
take a look at those speakers sitting on the floor. Why are they here?
Installer: Well, they are floorstanding
speakers.
Home-décor expert: Let’s cut them down a bit
and hang them on the wall.
Installer: That’s not going to work. We’ll
have to replace them with a model designed to go on the wall.
Ex-reviewer: How about we watch a movie and…
Home-décor expert: Is that a wire?!? I think I see
a wire on the floor! Oh God, tell me that’s not a wire.
Installer: We have a botched job here. I repeat, a
botched job.
Fashion model: Can we go for a swim?
Home-décor expert: Let’s get that chair to
hide that back speaker, and how about we move that center speaker over to the left, just
behind that flower vase?
Ex-reviewer: That’s going to sound…
Home-décor expert, installer, fashion model: Will
you shut up!
If there were a reality show based on home theater, it
might go something like the above. The industry is being challenged as never before to
produce gear that 1) does not intrude on the home or life of the owner at all, or 2) is so
cool to look at as it hangs on the wall that it serves as functional art. Even in
dedicated home-theater rooms, the equipment must be invisible. And if you have a plasma or
LCD screen on the wall, the system must be color-coordinated to match, the speakers
must hang on or be placed in the wall, and the whole affair can be no bigger than a
shoebox. Although I appreciate the practical considerations of such equipment -- I own an
LCD TV myself -- the enthusiast in me knows that performance considerations are
compromised by such requirements.
How about a middle ground? Can we at least put the front
speakers back on the floor? Don’t get me wrong -- I do want to see everyone who wants
a home theater have one, even if it means that décor comes before performance. Something
is better than nothing. But I’d also like to tip my hat to equipment designed for
performance first. Maybe, if it’s demonstrated properly, the better gear will
win the day regardless of how big it is.
OK, I’m dreaming. As I write this, I’m planning a
dedicated room to house my "large" audio system. My wife has already told me
that my HT system, which will still be in the living room, must be more modestly
proportioned. Now that we have a child, I can’t say I disagree with her. But up in my
new room, performance will rule the day. Bring on the serious gear for that room,
buddy.
The point is this: If you have to buy gear because of
aesthetic considerations, understand that you will likely sacrifice performance quality.
Hopefully, that will change. There is promise from products such as the Mirage Omnisat
v2 FS loudspeakers, which Doug Schneider wrote about in SoundStage! AV’s
"On HiFi" column; or the Elac Cinema Pipes, which Jeff Van Dyne wrote about here a few months
back. With some searching, you might find gear designed for good performance and
aesthetics, though the pickings remain slim. But the best gear will almost always
be the most inconvenient and obtrusive. There’s no free lunch, and we each have to
decide what we can live with in our home theaters. I suppose I’m choosing a bit of
both; contrary to popular belief, reviewers are not immune to such dilemmas. At least
we’re all in the same boat -- but under no circumstances will I let the HT style
police into my house.
...Jeff Fritz
editor@hometheatersound.com |
