The movie opens as a ‘50s pop vocal group romantically intones "Show me a man who’s gentle and kind, and I’ll show you a loser." This is the perfect setup for Meet the Parents. The comically named loser is Gaylord "Greg" Focker (Ben Stiller), and he’s in love with Pam Byrnes (Teri Polo), enough so that he wants to tie the matrimonial knot. But, we discover that her very traditional Dad, Jack Byrnes (Robert De Niro), feels he should pass blessing on the plans before Greg pops the question. So off they go to Meet the Parents. Anxiously wanting everyone to like him, Greg starts off with a series of genuinely good-intentioned mistakes and white lies that balloon into nightmares. While ostensibly about the young and in-love couple, Meet the Parents is really more about The Odd Couple: Greg and Jack. De Niro’s character is an ex-CIA agent who used mind control tactics to train his cat to use the toilet, and who thinks that NO man is good enough for his little girl. He’s strictly scheduled with military-type discipline, and is anxious to find fault with his girl’s boy. Every time Greg screws up, Jack is there to rub it in. It would take more than the space of this article to catalog all the terrible things that happen to Greg during his visit to the Byrnes’ family homestead. Almost all of them are excruciating, but hilarious.

How excruciating? Remember Stiller’s bathroom scene in There’s Something About Mary? Imagine that physical pain translated into emotional pain. Greg screws up everything he comes in contact with. His deadpan, sincere "who, me?" look makes every gaffe funnier as we watch him totally disintegrate. De Niro’s comedic talents also get better and better. His perfect use of smirks, raised eyebrows, and "gotcha" looks will make you marvel at his subtlety. The casting is ideal, from the perfectly passive-aggressive flight attendant (Kali Rocha), to the smarmy billionaire ex-boyfriend (Owen Wilson). Special kudos to Blythe Danner, whose portrayal of Dina Byrnes is simply fabulous. Imagine Martha Stewart on narcotics. Check her reaction to Focker’s greeting kiss 9 minutes into the film. Even better, at 17 minutes in, check the television over her right shoulder as Stiller holds the Nanny-cam, and then watch her comically vacant expression. Those of you who only know her as Gwyneth Paltrow’s mom are in for a treat.

The fourth quarter of the film lags, especially in comparison to the sidesplitting opening half. By the end, everything works out and happiness prevails. Jack and Dina are lying in bed when Jack sets up The Return of Meet the Parents by saying, "Now we have to meet HIS parents." You feel the magic break, as though the marketing folks just had to get their bit in. Then, director Jay Roach (both Austin Powers movies), throws us a friggin’ bone with a final scene that boosts the "dark comedy" quotient and leaves you actually wanting another film.

The picture and sound are unobtrusively superb. They are so natural and un-hyped that you might miss how good they really are. On a progressive scan system, the picture is Hasselblad quality. The only part of the movie that is conspicuously unreal is the incredibly beautiful sound of the music score; the extras are mixed. And while it’s nice to have the stars, director, and producer all on the commentary track, it is not very enlightening. In fact, it sounds like they just got together and chatted about what they were watching in real time. No editing and no opportunity to expand on an event that had already passed by the time their chitchat ended. The only interesting and surprising experience on the commentary is De Niro’s unexpected verbosity and drollness. I dutifully watched the outtakes. They definitely fall into the "you had to be there" category.