638 Ways to Kill Castro
January 2008 Reviewed by: Marc Mickelson Format: DVD	(all ratings out of 5): Overall Enjoyment Picture Quality Packaged Extras Sound Quality

Code-named "The Beard" by the CIA, Fidel Castro has ruled Cuba for nearly 50 years, much to the frustration of the United States, which is a mere 90 miles away. For all of that time, Castro has been a marked man, and not just by the US government. Cuban exiles are the most fervently anti-Castro faction there is, and there are many of them living in south Florida who would like to see Castro dead. Then there is the Mafia, which used to have very profitable operations in Havana, only to be ousted after the Revolution.

As its title suggests, 638 Ways to Kill Castro covers some of the many plots hatched to rub out the world's most famous communist. The movie retells a great deal of semi-secret history in a jaunty style, mixing news clips, B&W movie footage and contemporary interviews with US and Cuban officials to tell the stories of some of Castro's near-death experiences. Some plots were innocuous but just plain nutty, like the CIA's plan to make Castro's beard fall out, disgracing him in the eyes of his people, or spraying a TV studio with LSD, causing Castro to act oddly where TV cameras could capture it. There were also more lethal plots, like poisoning Castro's diving suit and hiding explosives in his cigars. Others, like the Bay of Pigs fiasco, had true historical significance. The thing that all of them had in common was their failure. At one point, Castro's ex-girlfriend failed at poisoning him with botulism-laced capsules, but he gave her his pistol to finish the job. She couldn't pull the trigger.

Because of the disparate materials from which the movie was constructed, the DVD's image quality varies, though it is at least good throughout. The stereo sound is clear and all that's needed. There is a twist to the interviews that make up the DVD's extra materials: Most are with people not in the movie, including ex-President Jimmy Carter and other officials in the US government. I suspect these people were filmed for the movie but their interviews didn't make the cut. Each sheds different light on America's burning desire to eliminate Castro as well as the activities of a couple shady figures discussed in the movie.

An unprecedented thorn in America's side for nearly half a century, "Castro plays David to our Goliath beautifully…. We are unable to deal with Cuba rationally," as one person points out. You need no more proof of this than the fact that America harbors Cuban terrorists amidst its war on terrorism, simply because they tried to kill Castro. El Presidente is now 81 years old and in failing health, so his duties have been transferred to his younger brother, Raśl. It looks like the 639th plot, the one that gets us all if something else doesn't, will be what finally kills Castro.

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